101 Days until we go to get Ella

101 days until we are scheduled to go and get our daughter, Ella. We got new pics yesterday, I got the pics and wept. It was a relief to see her and see that she had in fact gained some weight. She looked much healthier and attentive. It made me happy and sad all at the same time. I was happy to see her healthy and sad to see her and not be able to hold her. I ask everyone, how do you do it? How do you wait? I am having a really hard time with that--the waiting. It was okay, tolerable, before we had a child, but now...I am going out of my mind. That is why I know that there are 101 days until we leave. I think that it is easier to be able to count down the days. I also filled out my schedule, I am planning on having something to do everyday and night until we go.
I love someone I have never met. I love her more than I know how to love. She is my heart--I cant imagine how I will feel when we really meet.
We got word today that Ella will be moved to the HOH next week--we are really happy to hear that. We can get more updates more frequently--yeah. I look forward to every email and stare at every picture. I am an addict!

Referral Day!!! Charles and I were on our last day in New York at a trade show, we had finished there and headed out to see some sights. We stopped in for a bite at the Metro Cafe and just as we finished our lunch the phone rang. Charles never picks up if he doesn't recognize the call, but I had a feeling and told him to "Answer IT"! He did and was talking for a few minutes and hung up. I asked who it was and he answered that it was Toni, our adoption coordinator. Through the tears he told me we got a referral, a little girl!! We both cried and I am sure we looked like big idiots, but we didn't care!! We needed to call Toni back and she wanted to talk to us both at the same time--a quiet place in the heart of Manhattan? It was ridiculously cold outside, but we thought that our best option was the park--pretty empty on a cold day. We went and found a place and called back, but she was on the phone...we waited....and waited...and waited until I couldn't feel my feet or hands anymore and I said we needed to find a warm place to wait. We went to the bookstore and after waiting an hour or so, we got the call. She was abandoned and is 2 months old and weighs 5 lbs. She is really small, but all of her tests say she is healthy. We accepted our little miracle and are waiting to get a court date--that can take a while!!
I will keep you all posted.

Waiting is Hard

It is January 2009 and still no baby. We have been an official "waiting family" for 7 months. I wasn't getting down until I heard that the travel time between getting the picture till you travel has gone from 2 months to 4 months! That is 4 months that I wont be a part of my childs life. I look at her room every day and hope that it will be. I really feel like it will never be, that it is some cruel joke, or it is like the email--you have won the Ethiopian lottery, just send 20,000 and your name, ss# and passport and we will give you a baby. You send the information and nothing happens--it is no fun to wait!

Deciding on Ethiopia

It is a funny thing to decide where you want to adopt a baby from. Charles and I looked into domestic adoption and decided that it wasn't for us, at least not for our first adoption. In a domestic adoption, the process involves advertising yourselves to birth mothers and most of the laws protect the birth mother, not the adopting parents. Many adoptions go sour when the birth mother changes her mind. In many states, the birth mother has a grace period of up to a year to change her mind. I just couldn't put myself through that. As many of you know, I am quite the worrier. Can you imagine what I would be like--not a pretty picture.
We then looked into international adoption. We studied up on the process and interviewed many different agencies. We also had to look into which country we would consider. Many of the agencies only handle certain countries. Some agencies only offer adoptions from China. We factored in cost, wait times and how the waiting children are cared for. After weighing all of our options, we decided on Ethiopia. Many of our friends and family, all very supportive, questioned our decision. Many wanted to know why Ethiopia. To answer that is difficult. For many years, I have been facinated with Africa. Maybe it started when I was little and my dad would talk about his experiences in Africa--Ethiopia and Eritrea. I loved looking at his slides and hearing about the people and the beauty of the mountains. I always dreamed of going there. In a way, you can say that I fell in love with the idea of Africa--wild and exotic. Throughout my adult life, I have read about the many terrible things going on in Africa, Apartheid , Darfur, poverty, starvation, the AID's crisis and more. My heart goes out to the suffering people and I am amazed that our counrty does little to nothing to help these people. Genocide is a word that seems to have no meaning to the American Government. Oops, I will step down from my soap-box.
Charles and I are not those people that are going to save a child from all of those problems. On the contrary, the Ethiopian people care for and respect their children a great deal. They put children up on a pedestal, making sure that all of their needs are met. That along with the wait time for babies is much less than the 3-4 years for China, Korea and Russia. I want a baby now, not 3-4 years from now.
We see adopting Abigail as a blessing for us, if anyone is getting saved, it is Charles and I. I do understand that we will face multiple issues of race and racism, but everyone faces that when rasing children. It is just easier to ignore if you are all the same color.

Why blog now??

Well, after explaining our status over and over again, and after getting a little advice from Christy, I decided to create the adoption blog. I am also compelled to write down what the process has been like up to this point. I feel that everyone who is having a hard time understanding us right now may benefit from hearing what this process is like. I will try and break it down in segments--no one likes or is able to digest vast amounts of information in one entry. If anyone has questions or if you are going through the process and need some frustrations validated, please feel free to ask. I hope that everyone knows that this is a really long and emotional process and we really appreciate your support.