-Charles here-
People at work ask all the time about whether we have news. Amy definitely avoids being at the shop to not hear that question. She has found some help there and multiple ways to stay busy, but we still get the question. So I say yes. Yes, we have news... and it is all bad. The only good news is that our daughter is fat. She is putting on weight. She might not be getting any exercise. She might never get out of her crib for more than a few minutes a day. She might be sitting up or babbling right now, but the only thing I hear is "Wait." My agency, whom I've paid to help me through this process, has no news of value. Everytime they tell me something, I question it. I should be able to trust them, but everyone knows I don't. How many times do they tell you it will happen before you say, "Maybe I'm crazy for believing it." So we get news that says we wait. There are no guarantees. There is no certainty that it will happen on this date. We no sooner marked our calendar that she would go to court on the 20th of July than we got an email (how impersonal!) that it was not that date anymore but actually the 5th of August.
People at work ask all the time about whether we have news. Amy definitely avoids being at the shop to not hear that question. She has found some help there and multiple ways to stay busy, but we still get the question. So I say yes. Yes, we have news... and it is all bad. The only good news is that our daughter is fat. She is putting on weight. She might not be getting any exercise. She might never get out of her crib for more than a few minutes a day. She might be sitting up or babbling right now, but the only thing I hear is "Wait." My agency, whom I've paid to help me through this process, has no news of value. Everytime they tell me something, I question it. I should be able to trust them, but everyone knows I don't. How many times do they tell you it will happen before you say, "Maybe I'm crazy for believing it." So we get news that says we wait. There are no guarantees. There is no certainty that it will happen on this date. We no sooner marked our calendar that she would go to court on the 20th of July than we got an email (how impersonal!) that it was not that date anymore but actually the 5th of August.
People say, "You're not missing that much." or "She'll still be young, don't worry." But it's not that simple is it? If somebody came to your hospital bed after you gave birth and took your baby away and said "We'll be done checking her out tomorrow." and then came back every day and said the same thing for the first 8 months of her life, you would be losing your mind by now too!
Also, the thing I wish the Ethiopian government and all of those feet-dragging folks involved would think about is this: The infant mortality rate in Ethiopia is between 80 and 86 infants per 1000 live births each year. Based on the population numbers (82 Million people in Ethiopia) I could find, that means that 31,200 infants won't make it to their first birthday. So right now, my daughter takes up space in a bed in an orphanage and eats food that I could and want to give her. This is food that another child might survive on. She gets fat while outside of her building, other kids starve. This isn't the only thing about this situation that bothers me, but I'm hoping that it helps people understand what is at stake.
All we want to do is provide for her what every single child deserves, and all they do is tell us to wait.
2 comments:
Dear Amy and Charles, People (even me) say things trying to make you feel better but the truth is-THIS SUCKS! Poor Ella is growing up in a crib when she should be with you! I hate the people that are keeping you apart! The first year in an infants life is very important. I know that you know this...and it SUCKS! It suck, it sucks, it sucks!
It makes me feel crazy, too, this twisted logic and red tape that you keep getting subjected to. I can only imagine your frustration and agony.
I just hope and pray that she comes home soon. Over and over, hoping and praying.
Jen
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