Blessings

Dear Ella,

Mommy just got new pics of you and a video! You are growing so fast and gaining weight and I couldn't be happier. Today is the big day, I am trying not to get my hopes up, but we are supposed to hear about how the courts are going to proceed with the abandoned cases. Keep your little fingers and toes crossed all day!

The new pictures are bittersweet. On one hand, I am thrilled to see you and how much you have grown and on the other hand, I am so sad that I can't be there to hold you and kiss every inch of you. I don't know how long now, but I have a glimmer of hope that it won't be too long. I have watched the video over and over just so I can feel close to you. I told your Daddy today that when I see you I see him, there is no longer just the two of us, you are a part of us. You belong to us and we belong to you. I know that you can feel that. I think you are just waiting for us to come and get you. I think that once I get you I will never let you go, so lets get a few things straight: you cant go to school unless I can be there, you can't date unless you don't mind if I am with you, marriage will be hard because your husband or wife (whichever you prefer) will have to let me move in, I am being really serious. I feel like I have lost so much time with you that I am going to have a hard time letting you out of my sight.
Mommy's world starts and stops with you Ella. My life paused when I found out about you and the rest of my life is planned with you in it, so I will press play again when I get you in my arms. You will never be without love for as long as I live, you will be the most loved child in the world. I hate to write these letters because the only time I am at peace with the world is when I am writing you. When I end this letter, I will feel that emptiness again.
I love you baby and I am coming to get you soon. Remember that you are the most loved baby in the universe and Mommy and Daddy are coming, we are coming, we are coming.
All of my love,
Your Mommy