Lilypie Kids birthday Ticker

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

7 days till court

Dearest Ella,
Mommy decided to write again, I can't guarantee that it won't be sad
but I feel the need to write you. I cannot explain what I am feeling
right now. I am strangely at peace and feel your strength growing
inside me. I am surviving and doing what I can to be strong. I want so
desperately to come and get you that I avoid the airline pages for
fear I might buy a ticket on tomorrows flight. The days have been long
and the nights are even longer. I know that you are getting fat and
that makes me smile. You are everything to me and I am planning on
treasuring every second that we have together.
I hope that everyone that reads our blog comes away with the idea that time is a precious
thing and time with our children is a gift. Make sure that every
moment counts and experience all that you can with them. Spoil them rotten but teach them how to love and respect. I am not jealous of anyone and can say that everything "bad" in my life is a lesson and a gift. Each experience has given me a clue on how to live more freely and to love more deeply. If I had everything given to me I would never appreciate the time and effort each experience brings. Ella, you are the most precious experience I have ever had, you have already made me a better person a better friend and a better wife. You have taught me how to be strong and how to be vulnerable; to be able to ask for help and freely accept the help when it is offered. I am your Mother and I will work so hard to earn that title. I will make mistakes, but I will also learn from them. Life is not about what you do or where you live or what you own, it is about your relationships and your family. Through all of this mess I am developing a relationship with you that spans galaxies and will last throughout time. Nothing will keep me from loving you and nothing will keep us apart. On the day you were born, I loved you and will continue loving you forever. No matter what happens "good" or "bad" I will never stop loving you, my love for you cannot be broken and that gives me peace. I pray for the day we can hold you and kiss your toes, but until that day I will be content in knowing that our love is unbreakable.
I am lucky to have a fat, beautiful daughter named Ella.
All of my love,
Mommy

Sent from my iPhone
Amy Haynie
Tampa Street Market
www.tampastreetmarket.com

2 comments:

Christy said...

Just a few more days! Hang in there Ella! Caroline can't wait to play with you. xoxo, Christy

Laura HC said...

I have my hug shots (I mean Hep shots) so I can hug you! So overjoyed this part of the journey is over. Can't wait for you to be home with your parents.
Aunt Laura