2 Days Till Court!

I was watching the news last night, I know big mistake, and there was an awful story about a man throwing a 3 month old baby out of a speeding car window. The baby died and the man trivialized it saying it's a "rough game." I was really upset thinking about it.
I began to think about what we adopting parents go through, as well as those people who cannot have kids. We try and we save and we wait and wait, we get mad and depressed and lose our minds, but each day that we wait and each dollar that we save makes us more aware of how precious and rare this is. Not that we wouldn't appreciate our children anyway, but we do a little more. How lucky our children are to come into a world where they are wanted, really wanted, but even more than that we think of ourselves as the lucky ones. Ella is a blessing in my life, even now that I don't have her in my arms. She is loved and she makes me a better person. I am more aware of my surroundings, more conscience of others, more willing to make changes to better our lives. I am not so religious, but I do feel like she is a gift from God. She is my little miracle and I would wait 10 years if I had to to be a part of her life.
So really, the waiting is unbelievably hard, I mean cry every day hard, but those things that do not kill me make me a stronger Mom.

2 thoughts for the 2 days till court:

1. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Gandhi
2. I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. Nelson Mandela