Sleep

"Get some sleep"..."Get your rest now"...."No more sleeping in"....If only that was possible. I can't sleep, I wish that I could, but it just won't come. I fall asleep, but hours later I am wide awake. I have bad dreams, the kind like when you were a kid. Last night I dreamt that I was in this deserted house and I kept screaming for my Mom, I couldn't find my way out. I awoke at 2 and again at 3:30 and again at 4:30, I stayed awake. Hope, I am losing it. I planned our lives with Ella and now I can't think of anything hopeful, I have nothing to look forward to. I know there is a chance that the courts will do something soon, but there is also the chance that they won't. I am afraid to get my hopes up again. I just keep asking, "why us"?
I will put on a brave face and tackle my life again, but it won't make sense, not until Ella comes home.