My Sweet Ella,
Because there is a stall in the process, I believe that it must be for a reason. Your Daddy says that everything happens for a reason, the only reason I can think of is to prepare us for loss. Most people don't understand the loss you feel at your young age, but you have lost a great deal. You lost your Mother, first nannies, and soon the nannies at your transition home. I am so sorry Ella. Mommy had not lost that much until now, although I still have you, the courts are threatening to take you away. Mommy lost the security of having you come home and I am mourning that security, it was the idea that kept me strong. I got a glimpse of what it must feel like to lose the most important thing in your life and I wish that Mommy could come and scoop you up and hold you until that sadness goes away forever. I want to hold you and sing to you and feed you and make you feel secure. I will rock you to sleep and stay by your side in case you wake. I won't leave you, I will never leave you. Not now, not ever.
"How long do you wanna be loved, is forever enough, cause I'm never ever giving you up"
I will be singing this song as I send another piece of my heart to you. Listen close and hold tight to those pieces, always remembering that you are loved more than any other child in the universe and we are coming, we are coming, we are coming.
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6 comments:
Amy & Charles,
I have emailed everyone I know about the news. I have asked each and every one to pray and to put you on their prayer lists if they have one. God listens to all prayers ever from those who say they are not religious. I have seen miracles. Amy, you were one of those. You are both strong and will make it through this. I know in my heart that Ella will be with you soon. Stay strong. Keep busy. You can start an Ella Adoption Center to help other couples like yourself. There is strength in numbers. You are perfect leaders. I will help if I can. Please know that this grandma is sitting here with a broken heart. She loves both of you and wants to help anyway I can. I love you!
Dear Amy,
Over 20 years ago I sat where you sit today, a prospective adoptive parent, on pins and needles, praying and hoping that I would someday hold a baby in my arms and call him my own. As you deal with all of the legal paperwork and delays, I have no magic words to take your anxiety away. But I encourage you to trust that there is a plan and that God will take care of you and baby Ella, no matter what.
One of my favorite scriptures comes from Jeremiah 29: "For I know the plans I have for you...they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope". Those words have gotten me through many dark times in my life and I hope they bring you some comfort as well.
By the way I am now the very proud mother of SIX adult children and grandmother to FOUR grandsons. God has blessed me beyond all measure!
With love,
Earlene
Amy, I want you to know you are in my heart and prayers. I can not imagine the pain that you and Charles are going through. Hopefully with all your friends and family and our positive thoughts Ella will be home with you very soon.
Hi Amy,
I work with Ina and Rick and I wanted to let you know that my husband and I are praying for you, Charles and Ella. Stay positive as our minds and thoughts are such powerful forces that can make great dreams come true! Stay strong and know that we (amongst many others) are praying for you.
Amy and Charles,
Just reading your story breaks my heart, but after reading about the corruption I truly have faith that it will not take long to get your little girl. The journey is hard and arduous, but it must be to make us appreciate the reward! It is worth fighting for, worth waiting for, worth all the tears and pain our hearts go through. Believe me... Although you say you are not religious, you must believe God is in control, or you will drive yourself crazy. There are too many obstacles out of our control, out of our reach, and God has it all in His hands. Prayers to you!
Amy,
I too believe everything happens for a reason, I know it is hard to see in the moment, but it's there. I agree with you that this would help you prepare for loss. The loss of your security, especially in adoption, is a tough one. I know we can't fully understand the loss our children go through, but a life experience to draw from is very valuable. I pray for you every day, I hope this is resolved soon and you have answers to your questions.
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